For all of you who read this blog who don’t know me personally, (I assume it’s people from all the Twilight traffic) yes, I talk about poop a lot. On a regular basis. You know people who talk about what they do at work? Well, that’s how I feel about poop. When two kids are being raised, poop happens–with surprising frequency. Human poop? Doesn’t phase me. Let me rephrase…KID poop doesn’t phase me. They can’t help it. They haven’t been pooping as long as adults, so they sometimes make mistake. Adult poop, pardon the phrase, scares the shit out of me. (Unless it’s my own.) But, while not quite the same as finding a human dump on the floor, mouse turds on my counter are just as repulsive. Yes, it’s smaller poop. In my germaphobic mind though, each tiny mouse turd contains the Hanta virus. Not to mention where it’s dirty feet have been BEFORE it was walking on my counter. I know it’s an old house, and it’s winter time. They are bound to come in. It’s just the idea of them walking on my counter where I store my bananas and toaster that really freaks me out and makes me mad. Then I remind myself my grandmother’s farmhouse had a bunch, and we slept on the floor. We never got sick. If anything, it probably made us stronger. Think X-Men, or something.
But that’s my mind. Wavering between out-right paranoid and insane to completely rational, “oh, it won’t kill me…” Have you seen that commercial with the baby sitting on a white floor? The one where they have a mouse running in front of him and the announcer says, “If you had a pest in your home, YOU WOULD TRAP IT.” Part of me goes, “EWWWWW!” and the other part thinks, “Many babies throughout history have been raised in homes that had mice and were none worse for the wear. Suck it up, stupid commercial!” Still a third part says, “Pizza sounds good for dinner. Yeah, we should just get a pizza.”
I will be embarrassingly honest here. And you thought the poop stuff was bad…No! This is worse. I have been completely enslaved by the Twilight series. SIGH. I know. I feel like I let myself and all of humanity down on this one. I wish they’d just have sex and get it over with. By the time they do, IF they do, it’s gonna be a complete let-down. I’m not looking for Clan of the Cave Bear action every four pages, but you know, SOMETHING before the third book would be nice. It makes me feel that all this talk of them being soul-mates is really just some seriously pent up sexual tension. For the record, I would of chosen the werewolf. I am on book three, about halfway through. I had to take a break last night from starting the third book because I had to read “Midnight Sun” in its entirety. For those of you who don’t know, it’s the first book from Edward’s perspective that was leaked on the internet. The author says she won’t finish it, but it was still 264 (albeit LARGE TYPE) pages. Yes, I am literally hanging my head in shame as I write this. What is it about these books? People over and over have described them to me as crack, and yeah. That’s about what they are. I did have to put the book down in disgust though, as the whole topic of an army of newborn vampires surfaced. Come on. Give the girl a break. Give her a whole book where she doesn’t have to be pursued by the supernatural. Just let Edward and Jacob fight it out. Death match style. That would be highly entertaining. Actually I would find it quite enjoyable if all the characters were killed off in some mass-suicide.
Knitting news: Nothing. Like I said I’ve been reading, so even monster blanketa is going un-touched. I am staying in Lawrence for Christmas, so I do foresee posting over the break, and of course, probably making a present run-down list. I’m hoping beyond all hope I get a Yarn Barn certificate. After I finish this blanketa, I’m going to make something really epic. Something with lots of cables and oversized sleeves with a fitted waist. I dunno. No patterns in mind. MAYBE I’ll make the fair isle beret in Vintage Knits. I have wanted to try my hand at fair isle and the beret is really cute. There’s also a pattern for matching gloves. How perfectly sweet! So c’mon gift certificate! Mamma needs some new yarn!
Wow. What a blurb. And I’m done. Be safe on the ice! I shoveled my porch, sidewalk and driveway on Tuesday and bought salt today to lay down. It’s looking good! Burton always takes care of the yard, so I guess during the wintertime, my job is to shovel snow.
PS: While I was proof reading this, I heard the mouse trap that Burton set 10 minutes ago go off. Mice is so stupid.